Branches Book

BRANCHES

And it tells you there is a way to be happy again As long as you follow the rules

Ed orders: mind your intake, and compensate, until you feel empty Again and again and again—don’t keep still Distance yourself, for you cannot tell a soul Be cautious, be tough, and be silent This is not hard— I am used to infinite hollowness A hunger for security, reassurance, unity All hungers of which, are far more miserable Than the hunger you’ve come to know Ed gloats: You are welcome! Don’t you feel better now? For a fair amount of pain and distress, I’ve rewarded you alleviating numbness, but know You are safe just so long as I stay The immediate response, driven by Ed and furthered by fear, Is that I am not sick—I am fine! But under Ed’s lies, in the very back of my mind, I know, and I am relieved Ed says: You have failed You were not cautious not tough nor silent enough You’ve been sent away, and if you’d like to be safe, You better fight to help me stay Right away, searched, gowned, and weighed, I am brought to 4 WEST, my new home Eight girls, twenty nurses, a day room, a weigh room Guarded by electric lock doors 4 WEST Wing

Get me out. This is hell. I do not belong here. I will never let them control me. But I’ll comply, I’ll pretend—the sooner I start The sooner I get to leave.

Meals are painful, for aside from Ed,

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