Branches Book

BRANCHES

is by no means an accurate measure of self-worth. It’s incredibly destructive when women actively contribute to a culture of degrading other women based on their appearances. Fat shaming is delivered through subtle (and not-so-subtle) messaging from strangers and others. However, it’s often the ones we hold dear who hurt us the most. Perhaps with the intention to protect daughters from potential outside world shame, family relationships can often be the most damaging to a young woman’s perception of her body. Through my interviews, I discovered the (unsurprising) influence mothers have on their daughters. One mother gifted her daughter dieting books for her thirteenth birthday, another poked her daughter's stomach to expose her fat, and another would buy her expensive clothes of a smaller size to incentivize weight loss. While those are all instances of direct fat shaming, the ways in which mothers talk about their bodies is also a huge influence on how we as daughters perceive our own. A few of the young women that I interviewed came from families with mothers who constantly diet or often vocalize a hatred towards their own body and fat. My own mother takes no issue with my body but she will openly talk about disgust towards her fat rolls. I can’t help but look in the mirror and tear myself apart when the person I look up to for everything is doing the same. Even though my mother claims that body size doesn’t matter, I know that in her eyes fat is disgusting and undesirable. It’s incredibly challenging to practice self-love when self-hate is normalized in the home. My mother claims that her disgust towards fat is in the name of “health,” but self-hate isn’t healthy. I’m completely in favor of organic, well- balanced meals and regular exercise but when the family environment creates a focus on eliminating fat because it’s unattractive, then it moves far away from healthy. Self-love creates a path to self-care and that is where we find health. The culture in which we live makes it almost impossible to have a positive image of our own bodies. We can’t turn to TV or magazines for representation. We are often shamed by family, friends, strangers, and most certainly ourselves. Though we are not alone in our struggles, it can certainly feel that way. So, what do we do? How can we remedy all the damage that has been done by the media and centuries of unrealistic beauty standards? It is extremely difficult to find a place for love when all we know is fear, shame, and hate, but it is possible. For me, it starts with a refusal to be controlled by what others say I should or should not look like. Body image influences every aspect of our lives, so having a negative relationship with your body significantly lowers your quality of life. Though I certainly do not have the answers to solve everyone’s body insecurity, what helped me on my journey to self-love and acceptance was to first see that I

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