Branches Book

BRANCHES

I want to say that I lived a joyous life. I want to say that I am happy with the life I lived. I just don’t know if I can. The milestones have been run over As if they were the bases of a baseball diamond. Although it feels as if I’ve never gotten a run, a grand slam, I have never made it home. My feet are running towards the plate and all of sudden the plate Disappears and in its place, first base appears. Third base was my home for years– Until he left, And I was back to the beginning. Professionally, the bases were basically white stripes beneath me, Until they told me, “We’re going in a different direction, We need someone younger, more relatable.” And so I left, and when I looked down I saw I was standing still And base one was looking up. Decades passed and I pretended to be fine, I pretended that my life was everything I wanted it to be. The new job that I somehow now possessed was enough for me, The man I ended up marrying was enough, he had to be enough You left.

There is no need to keep looking forward– Or to attempt to be something I’m not.

I want to say that I lived a full life. I want to say that I lived a joyous life. I want to say that I am happy with the life I lived. I just don’t know if I can.

X My apologies to everyone I have hurt, To everyone I have ever made cried To everyone I have bored with my stories of prior loves and mean girls And bosses who fired me for not wearing the right shirt. My heart goes out to all of whom I left in the dust To the people who loved me and who I deserted To the people who put up with me through all my craziness And the ones who never did. I want a do-over.

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