Branches Book

BRANCHES

I want to start a new. The future for me is unclear and uncharted territory scares me. I want to know what’s next, what’s on my path. The only way to prepare yourself is to understand, Is to analyze, Is to comprehend. And then to make a decision based on your research, Based on your knowledge. It is wrong to go into things half knowing, It is wrong to enter into a realm that is undiscovered. As I lay in this bed, In this room, With the windows covered so as not to let light in– So as not to let the outside world, you, see me like this. And I wait. I wait for the night to take over and for my eyes to finally shut. I wait to no longer feel pain or regret or anger,

But I realize that as I lose these emotions I also lose love and hope and happiness. I lose it all. And suddenly, my regret begins to fade as I begin, perhaps for the first time, To appreciate my life. This is the reason we live, this is the reason we want to live To appreciate the unexpected paths my life took. To appreciate my loud voice– The voice that has gotten me into more trouble than it should have.

To appreciate the lost loves, the lost jobs, And the ditches that I found myself in Time and time again. I am worthy, I don’t need you to want me because I choose myself, I pick myself, I love myself. Life took all it could but I still managed to live

To the best of my ability, My eyes graze the mirror And I’m able to finally see everything that I was meant to be– For once in my life: I am present. Why couldn’t this have happened earlier? Years earlier Or perhaps even months.

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